Ern is Bossy, pt. 1

Hey, Touzer.  I think maybe I've overwhelmed you in that big ol' leap from 'hey, we ought to BLOG about this' to actually setting up a blog.  I don't think either of us has spotted any typical Touz-Ern stuff worthy of photographing lately (or in a long while, actually), but I still have stories that I want to share with you.  Stories... or tangents.  Or rants.  Or observations from my day to day that make me think TOUZ.

Plus your phone is broken right now, so I can't even send you mildly amusing-and-annoying text messages.  My stories are piling up.  I'm going to post for us both until you find something you want to write about.

Don't be mad, bro.

***

I only just realized recently that I know someone named Albert Bert.  Al Bert.  His email address is something like al.bert@email.com (don't email this address... what if it WORKED??).  What's sadder than the fact that I've known this man for years and years and only JUST realized that he's just a walking first name is the fact that his parents knowingly gave him said name.

I can't decide if his parents were brilliant, dumb, or just had a twisted sense of humor.  Maybe a bit of all three?  It's like naming your child Matthew Hew or Edward Ward or Phillip Lip.  (Now wondering if Lip is a real last name and if I should change mine.  Ern Lip.  Ernie Lips.  That's pretty hot.)

Dear Parents of the World:

If at any point during the naming of your child you chuckle or guffaw, please immediately throw that baby name into the trash can and come up with something different.  Preferably without any crazy additional vowels or letters worth extra points in a game of Scrabble.   Because honestly, parents... if you think the name is HILARIOUS and you love that kid, imagine how funny it'll be to people who have no vested interest in the potential mental anguish of your child.

Much love to you,

Ern

I know this sounds cranky, and believe me... I've had some doozy names within my own writing, but all I can think is that if you name your kid Bilbo (because you LOVE Tolkien, clearly), then your kid can't possibly to ANYTHING but live up to that name.  And be a Bilbo.

Naming your kid Saruman is fine, though.  Just FYI.