Dear Touzer,

I fully intend to walk you through my new office at some point, but today is not that day.  It's the end of the weekend, you know, so I'm feeling particularly lazy.  A long post is more like a Tuesday or Wednesday thing - you know, one of those days where you're used to being productive and get the most done.

But I did want to tell you that I was over at my parents' house yesterday for grilling out, and as I was leaving I went to say goodbye to my father, who was watching TV.  I should clarify... he was watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  My dad.  0_0.  Of course, he immediately tried to insist that he was watching some manly movie with men dying in the desert and it was on commercial break, but we know the truth... my dad is a Housewives fan.

In the window

Okay, so... I forgot to post for you and am now squeaking this one in. Just inside the window. From my bed. Hehe. Rebellious of me, I know.

My shoulder just aches this week. I thought it might be from using a new machine at the gym, but it's been days now and it still hurts. Starting to wonder if I hold my job stress in my shoulders. I need a massage, only... I don't like being touched. That's normal. Totally normal.

Remember how I hid from my boss last week? I got stuck with him in the elevator yesterday (I got there first, so I couldn't hide), and it turns out... I was right! Those 15 seconds are among the most painful I've experienced. And then I thought he was going the other way, and I wished him a good night, but he ended up coming the same way as me. So we walked in silence to our cars for the next five minutes, following my good bye, following awkward elevator times. I am now timing my departure to avoid contact.

Good thing I really like people.

It's Raining. Can't Work. Proper Flushing.

It's been raining for days, actually. I have no idea why rain affects my INSIDE work, but it does. I sit and look out of my window and watch it and do nothing. So there's that.

But also, Ern, there are SIGNS in the restroom here. Multiple signs. You probably have seen similar ones, about what TO and what NOT to put in a toilet. It's one of those, except at the very end there is a little... extra note. It reads:


Also, please ensure proper flushing has occurred.

Oh Ern. You know how I am. I pick apart things and things. WHAT IS PROPER FLUSHING?

No. No. No, what is IMPROPER flushing? Yes, I know what the sign means, but it's just so FUNNY to me. I spent AGES and AGES thinking up ways to IMPROPERLY flush a toilet yesterday. And everyday that I go in there and read this sign.

Ways To Improperly Flush a Toilet

1. Using the Force to push the lever
2. Using a body part other than your hand to flush (ex: chin, elbow, armpit)
3. Flushing only during even #'d hours
4. Using karate to flush (particularly not that MOVE from the Karate Kid... Crane? No)
5. Playing Bloody Mary prior to flushing
6. Choreographed dance routines, with a flush finale (though this one tempts me daily)
7. Anything involving magnets
8. With a spoonful of sugar
9.  POWER flushing (this involves power fists, Rocky jogging, and the sink)
10. Back to the Future Flushing, where you'll return ...from the future.. to flush. In a DeLorean.


Please, add to this list. And always ensure proper flushing.